CTFD

I'm sure some of you out there know exactly was CTFD stands for.  I need to apply this concept to almost every aspect of my life these days.  I can't seem to get both my personal life and professional life on equal footing.  When one seems to be doing well, the other seems to fail.  I can't seem to shake the feeling of failure whenever one is less than perfect.  Failure isn't even the right feeling, it's a weird stress induced level of neurotic craziness.  Sometimes it makes me get super hyper and stay up all night trying to get things accomplished and other times it makes me curl up in the fetal position and going to bed at 8:00 right after the boys.  I'm just glad that when it is the latter that I can at least get them to bed before I fall apart.

Thank goodness that the hubby is home now and not working out of town anymore.  I think that in my mind I think that he's still gone and that I have to jam pack as much as I can into every moment of every day.  While that isn't true, it does seem that we have been filling all our free time to reconnect with family and friends.  That needs to slow down after the last weekend of days where the 3 year old didn't nap AT ALL, that was just evil to mommy.

So now am going to try to get something else done that will make me feel better.  I'm glad that no one knows of this blog so I can just ramble as I need to.  It's nice to be able to get some things off my chest with no judgements.

Shutterfly!

Just ordered this years Christmas Cards from Shutterfly! 

I love them and you should too! Check them out at Shutterfly

WOW!!

Is it bad that I even forgot I made this blog over a YEAR ago??

Yesterday was Evan's first birthday and fun was had by all at Chuck E. Cheese!  Seems to hard to believe that he was so little when born.  Since then another friend has been added to the baby crew, Mr. Blake Thomas in June 2011. 

So far there will be at least two more friends to join the baby group in 2012, another Smith baby in April and a Reeser baby in June.  June is popular month for babies!

We will find out about the Smith baby this Friday, 12/02/11 at 3:30 and I can't wait!  Seems like we have been dragging our feet on working on the baby room until we know what we are having.  So many fun things to decide!  If it's another boy then we are going to move Wyatt into the other room and give him a big boy room and if it's a girl then we are going to keep him where he is and make the other room all girlie.  Please note when I say all girlie that I DO NOT MEAN ALL PINK, I'm not a pink person and if I have a daughter, she won't be until she's old enough to tell me otherwise!!! 

11/29/10 Thankfuls

I'm taking a page from a college friend of mine who has been posting on FB what she Thankful for each day this month.  Over this past weekend I am very Thankful for two things.

1.  I'm Thankful for Evan Theodore Carter born on Saturday, November 27.  He's a little early but both he and momma Meg are doing great.  I'm hoping to get to visit him and his parents soon!

2.  I'm Thankful for my Uncle Richard who set up a Virginia 529 plan for Wyatt with a very generous contribution.  I don't know much about how the plan works, but anything to start saving for his college is a blessing!  Here it is almost 10-years since I graduated from Radford (OMG, I'm getting old) and I'm still paying on my loans!! 

Very Thankful

Today is the day after Thanksgiving and I have a lot to be thankful for this year.  In June, I had my first child, Wyatt, and he's been the most wonderful thing that I've done in my entire life.  Russ always said that a couple was never really married until they had a child, well we are definitely a family now!!! 

With all that I have to be thankful for, with being a new mom, I'm also scared of lots of things.  Everyone says that you can't explain what it feels like to be a mom until you are one, they are 1000% correct.  I thought that I would have my baby and everything would be OK, (I'm no dummy, I knew that it would hard) but that I would stay the same person.  Well that didn't happen!!!  Just about everything thing that I think and feel has changed.  Some nights I just sit in Wyatt's room holding him and cry because I'm so scared that something bad is going to happen to him and then my mind wanders to bad places and I have to make it stop.  I have no reason to feel this way, but it's one of those things that you can't explain. 

The waves of emotions have been CRAZY!  Russ has been great, he didn't run screaming from me the nights I would cry myself to sleep for really no reason.  I must say that I'm getting better about keeping my emotions under control, but they are definitely much different than they were before.  My co-workers used to joke that I was emotionally bankrupt and had no feelings, well those days are gone by the wayside!

I'm going to kiss my son on the head (he's already asleep in his crib) and go to bed.  Here's to hoping that I only wake up once to check on him tonight.

My New Blog

I had a blog once before and I didn't do much with it.  I'm going to try again and see how this works out.  I'm going to post about all sorts of things from my baby, household stuff, work and trying to find the balancing in my life with everything that is going on!!!

Here to wishful thinking!